No, I will not.

I got an email from my sister-in-law, today. She is a wonderful woman, truly a kindred spirit. I am so lucky to have found a soul-sister in my sister-in-law.

Her email updated me on the status of my father-in-law. Earlier, I posted that he had decided against curative treatment. Since that post he decided he would participate in chemo and radiation.

Most recently, specifically in the aforementioned email from my SIL, he is suggesting that he's again changed his mind and will not pursue curative treatment at this time. This is normal for patients to change their minds often, as they come to terms with their situation. It is part of the process. His wife, my husband's stepmother,however, has asked all family members in contact with her husband to "encourage" him to pursue the curative treatment.

I am extremely offended by this. I understand the overwhelming and selfish desire to keep your loved ones near you. I have experienced the loss of beloved family members. (No, not the loss of a spouse to death, but I don't believe you can quantify or qualify grief by which loved one, you've lost.) I was just talking to my aunt the other day and we were both in agreement that we would give up just about anything to see our respective grandfathers again. But to pressure someone, who is ambivalent about their condition, into receiving such physically draining treatment, just so they'll stick around for one, maybe two years (if that!) is completely unethical to me, especially since the choice is completely his to make.

So, in answer to my stepmother-in-law's request: No, I will not.